At the time of writing this blog, I am 23 years old, unmarried, and have never had a girlfriend. Growing up, I always dreamt of one day getting married, settling down and having a family of my own (yes, guys have dreams too). When I was 19 years old, I enrolled at Lancaster Bible College. Being a small, conservative Christian school, there was certainly some pressures associated with dating. Some even went as far as to call it Lancaster Bridal College because apparently every female who attends is looking for their Mrs. degree. Four years later, I walked across the stage, received my diploma, and moved on to the next stage of my life, still single. I wasn't alone in this. My best friend graduated with the same status. I guess that should bring me some comfort.
Going into my senior year, I had a sense of dread. This realization that I was in my final year of college, and if I didn't find "the one," I would be destined for singleness, a life that I did not want to live. This was not made any easier by the pressure that comes from attending such a small, christian college, where dating and marriage is essentially viewed as the end goal. I felt lonely, even though I was surrounded by people who mean the world to me. I felt scared, knowing that I would be taking my next steps in life... alone. I felt sad. I don't experience the same self doubt that I used to, but sometimes, singleness feels like a wound. That wound, can sometimes get infected, leading to depression and other complications.
Going into my final semester of college, I began looking for full-time jobs. I've known since I was little that I wanted to work at an amusement park. Even at the time of my job search, I was working at Hersheypark for my eighth season. I was specifically looking for a job in the amusement industry. I applied for a variety of full-time jobs at Hersheypark, a few at Dorney Park, and one at Knoebels. All I got was rejection. I began to feel discouraged, fearing I may not get to stay in the amusement industry. That is until I was made aware of a job opening at Carowinds in Charlotte, North Carolina. For most of my adult life, I dreamed of moving back down south. I was after all, born and raised in Alabama. I did not expect this opportunity to come. I applied for the position, recognizing that I would likely be rejected. This rejection that I was expecting however, would not come. The day after my interview, I was offered the role of Location Supervisor of Ride Operations at Carowinds, which I accepted. This meant I would be moving my entire life to not just another state, but another region.
While I still dream of meeting "the one" and getting married, that dream would have made the career dream an impossible one. Because I was on my own, I did not have to take anyone into consideration when deciding on my next move. Two months after accepting this new role, I packed all my stuff into a U-Haul and moved to Rock Hill, South Carolina. I have since fallen in love with the area. I did exactly what I was afraid of doing, taking that next step alone. While I experience the occasional loneliness of walking into an empty apartment after a long day at work, I take one step outside into the Carolina heat, take a sip of sweet tea, and remember that I am home.
As I have adjusted to life in South Carolina, I have found myself effectively going out with myself. Without having to take anyone else into consideration, I've been able to do whatever I please, sometimes without any planning at all. For example, last Wednesday on a whim I traveled to Atlanta for two back to back Braves games. While traveling back to Pennsylvania for my graduation party, I made an impromptu stop at Kings Dominion for a couple of hours to take a break from driving. I was able to take the long drive slow, and do what I wanted to do along the way. I was able to eat where I wanted to eat, stay where I wanted to stay, and listen to the music that I wanted to listen to.
The truth is, I still long for the day that I meet the woman who makes me go weak at the knees. The one who I am able to fall in love with every day, the one who challenges me like nobody else ever has, or would ever be able to. The one who will join me for spontaneous adventures, or take things the southern way, slowly. The one who will sit on the back porch with me sipping sweet tea and listening to country radio on a summer night. The one who no matter how frustrated I am with, I simply cannot stop loving. The one who despite how crazy I drive her, simply cannot stop loving me. I dream of that moment almost daily.
The reality is, my time has not yet come. I remain in this season of singleness, but out of it, has come something that many people lose out on. My dream of working in the theme park business has been realized. I am exactly where I have dreamed of being for so many years. My desire of returning to the south has been realized. I no longer feel like a fish out of water. I'm able to continue focusing on improving myself, while also continuing to build my relationships with my friends.
