Autism is something that has become more prevalent in our society over the last 10 to 15 years. Growing up with any autism spectrum disorder can be very difficult for several reasons. First, many of us on the spectrum face discrimination at one point or another. In grade school this might be exclusion from normal activities because of social differences or challenges, it may be emotional, mental, and sometimes physical abuse from classmates and teachers, and it can even come from impatient parents.
I want to get to the root of this before moving on. Typically the way that autism is explained to neurotypical children is that it it means that they might be different in some ways. When it comes to social norms, this is a pretty accurate statement. However, it leads me to ask this question. Are we really "different?" In my humble opinion, there are over 8 billion people on this planet, and no two people are exactly alike, so what exactly is different? We often define different as something that opposes the social norms that we are used to seeing.
Many of the messages that we receive growing up are messages that say that we need to conform to social norms. That we are broken people and that we need to be fixed. For the longest time I have believed that to be true, but through professional work experience and time at college, I have found that this really isn't the full truth, especially in the present day. I often speak out against a lot of the inclusion stuff because it really isn't as beneficial as people make it out to be. For example, consolidating all autism-like disorders into one umbrella does not benefit people like myself with Asperger's Syndrome, or those diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified, because we all have unique needs that don't quite fall under the needs of people with classic autism.
That being said, there are some benefits when it comes to a societal point. As an adult I have felt much less excluded in the things that I do, than I did growing up. One point I have made is that one goes to college to pursue a passion. I have made absolutely no strides to conform to the social norms at Lancaster Bible College, and have been successful 99% of the time. I make mistakes, I run into conflicts, but in the end, being unique is ultimately better than conformity. I have interests that I speak a lot about. Many people who know me know I love airplanes. My father is a military pilot and has been for most of my life. I talk about it a lot, to the point where I probably do annoy some people. However I have found that while growing people up have said I should try to talk about things other people like, I have not taken that advice to heed, and it landed me my dream job with United Airlines.
Success used to be defined by people who attain high paying jobs by fitting into the social norms that society has laid out. In the present day however, having an autism spectrum disorder puts me at a unique advantage. The most successful people in large technology firms such as Apple, Google, Motorola etc... are those with autism spectrum disorders. These firms actively seek to employ people with these disorders because it provides a very significant competitive advantage to these organizations. For starters, people with Asperger's Syndrome tend to be very detail oriented. This means that when someone with Asperger's is looking over something, they will notice the smallest details, and sometimes, it is the smallest details that end up mattering the most.
This attention to detail aspect for me has led to success in both the airline industry as well as the private security sector. Previously I held a job as a Security Professional with Allied Universal, and found that I ended up fitting in very quickly because I tended to notice some of the smallest things that would turn into some very big problems if they weren't addressed while they were still small problems. Today, I am a Public Safety Officer at Lancaster Bible College and have been commended on a regular basis for my attention to detail and the things that I catch while on duty.
When it comes to friendships, things are certainly quite interesting. One of the biggest misconceptions is that people on the autism spectrum simply lack a desire to seek out friendships. This is a very ignorant statement and must be quashed when spoken, because it is the complete opposite of the truth. The real truth is that many people on the spectrum find it very difficult to make friends naturally. I have certainly been blessed with some amazing friends that I have spoken about quite a bit. Do I make mistakes that causes tension? ABSOLUTELY. Do they make mistakes that cause tension? Once again... ABSOLUTELY. But here's where things become more special. When one of us or both of us make a mistake, we talk about it. I never intend to hurt anyone, but sometimes I do so inadvertently. Here is what I love about my friends so much. When I do inadvertently hurt one of them, and I ask them about it, they are honest, and they are willing to talk about it in ways that help me understand exactly why what I said or did hurt them the way it did.
The biggest wall I face now though is romance. I will be 21 in less than 2 months, and have yet to have my first girlfriend. The idea of dating gives me great anxiety because while people have come to me for relationship advice, I speak only based on observation. I don't necessarily fear rejection, I honestly fear that moment when a girl says "I like you too". First of all I have absolutely no clue where go from there, but second of all, I also fear that I am going to cause a lot of problems in my relationship because of the things that I simply do not understand. With that, singleness is the season that I am in right now, and while I embrace it the majority of the time, the spring has a tendency to be the hardest on me. This is the time when everyone appears to be getting engaged or entering into romantic relationships, and this time of year I am constantly reminded of my singleness. A wise woman said to me that "Single now is not single forever". I often fear that God has decided that I am to live a life of singleness. Even though I trust that whatever God does in my life will be good, the thought of being single for the rest of my life is devastating.
People on the autism spectrum have all types of barriers to overcome. I spoke about each and every one of them. At the end of the day though, when it comes to neurodiversity, nobody is superior to anyone else. We each have our own abilities and in 2019, having unique abilities is one of the biggest advantages you can have over everyone else. Being different in 2019 is kinda awesome.
