April 6, 2018 is a day that is committed to memory because there were several things that happened that day. I was faced with a unique challenge, that was only unique because of my condition. After the events transpired I spoke with a friend by the name of Joseph Masi. He was in my section, and was also one of my best friends. I told him about the events that had transpired, and he brought up the idea of writing a song to express it. When he first said that, I laughed it off but a few days later, the beginning of the song came to me.
The spring semester of 2018 was not just a difficult time for myself, but for a number of other people as well. It seemed as though my entire friend group was going through something. There were battles being fought left and right. My own battle at the time was anxiety. But I also noticed that I was not the only one battling anxiety. I am a very empathetic person, which means that ones mood can easily influence my own mood. Because we are each created in the image of God, each and every one of us is indeed beautiful. But as the first verse is written, it is very hard to see someone that I care about facing any type of battle.
Depression is a very common battle, as is addiction, upon many other things. However, not only do we have this pressure to keep this to ourselves, it often seems as though those around us expect us to just shove our difficulties aside and keep going as if nothing was wrong. As Christians we are not exempt from this pressure. In fact, the enemy will often deceive us to believe that this is something that we must keep to ourselves. The church also isn't always the greatest at coming alongside those who are facing battles of really any type.
The pre-chorus falls in line with the 'look up child' mentality. This isn't to say that feelings of depression are invalid but as soon as you find strength to look up, everything can change in an instant. We are given this light from God. This light that comes from the gospel (or 'good news'). This doesn't just mean that we shine our light, but our battle can also become a light when we overcome it. When we fight a battle or we struggle with something, it becomes almost impossible to realize that we aren't the only one facing that battle. A testimony is one of the most powerful tools available to one in ministry. Your battle, and your testimony can be the thing that changes everything in the life of one who might be facing the same struggle.
The song also talks about how we keep ourselves hidden away because we are unsure of what to do. In my own experience, I have found I become afraid to be around other people, because I don't have the ability to put a mask on. And sometimes we honestly just need some time alone. However sometimes we may feel forced to keep ourselves hidden away, because maybe we feel ashamed to be fighting a battle. Maybe we are afraid of what other people might think.
I became stuck for a little bit because the song didn't feel complete but I didn't have anything else to add. That is until a very close friend of mine shared some unfortunate news with me. When one who you are close to becomes ill, not just sick, but to the point where death is a near possibility, this becomes a new battle. It becomes not just a physical battle for the person dealing with it, but an emotional battle to those who are close to that person. In my case I was devastated because while I don't know the person who is dealing with this huge battle, I was watching one of my best friends face a challenging emotional battle, and I just put pen to paper.
This song is a very broad song but it speaks into everything that I witnessed and experienced for myself last semester. I haven't shared this song or even spoken of it for a long time because there was backlash to it. Backlash that I had written about. Backlash that had result in a lot of hurt, self doubt, and doubt in God's purpose for me. And yet even the song that caused the backlash speaks into that. For your listening, the song is included. The lyrics are below the video.
Lyrics
You walk through life
with a frown on that beautiful face
you know it kills me inside
just to see you this way
They tell you just to
suck it up when life gets rough
and now you're feeling knocked down.
You might be overwhelmed
you might be getting down
you might be getting ready to shout
But don't forget he gives you love
He gave you his life and he gives you the light
So won't you shine, brighter than ever
So all may see, your light.
shine bright.
Now it's getting heavy
you're not sure what to do
so you keep yourself hidden away
Your head is burrowed deep
deep with in your arms and
the tears are running down your face
You might be overwhelmed
You might be getting down
You might be getting ready to shout
But don't forget he gives you love
He gave you his life and he gives you the light
So won't you shine, brighter than ever
So all may see, your light
So won't you shine
Brighter than ever
Light up the darkness
Light up this world
So won't you shine
Brighter than ever
So all may see... your light
Shine bright.
